Friday, 2 August 2013

Dear Sexist Child (A response to getting sexually harassed while minding my own ******* business taking my kid out for a walk)

Never has writing something in rhyming couplets been so therapeutic....

Dear Sexist Child
A mum, a child, a sunny day
Met some youths along the way,
While walking in the local park,
And it wasn't even dark.
First, there came a piercing whistle
(A finger raised up in dismissal)
When with unfettered erudition,
One made the mum a proposition.

The much maligned young Casanova
Yelled from a place that's quite far over,
"You've got one kid, do you want another?"
"Give that poor dear boy a brother."
"You know you wants it, yes you do"
"I'll even loan my special goo"
And next he offered explorations
Illegal in a host of nations.

The mum did think, "perhaps I'll dodge
that close encounter with your splodge,
Plus shouting filth behind a hillock
gives proof you are a total pillock.
I will not fear, upon my life
A fool too young to buy a knife,
Some youth today are running wild,
You grim and rotten sexist child."

The angry mum kept walking up,
To find a shirtless callow pup,
Say "He really fancies you, you see"
"So this should make my loins go "SQUEE"??
Thought mum, while praying to herself,
That spunky boy stays on the shelf,
Or least by order of this sweet lament,
Is grounded until retirement.

And so I end this sorry tale,
Of youthful misadventures (male),
I'd rather bite the cyanide tooth,
Than take up with a sexist youth,
You did not win, you sorry soul,
My peace you broke upon that stroll.
This mum can now take all her solace,
Because she called the Edgar Wallace.


  1. Firstly, You should have kicked him in the nuts, until something went crunch. Why do young lads do this, i hope they did not upset your little one. Secondly, This is an amazing way to tell the story aside from the plonkers mentioned in it, brilliant poem/writing. Rachel x

  2. Thanks, it means a lot. I thought it was a better way of venting my anger than the expletive strewn rant that was my first thought. Fortunately Mini D is a bit too young to catch on. The little shits x