Never has writing something in rhyming couplets been so therapeutic....
Dear Sexist Child
A mum, a child, a sunny day
Met some youths along the way,
While walking in the local park,
And it wasn't even dark.
First, there came a piercing whistle
(A finger raised up in dismissal)
When with unfettered erudition,
One made the mum a proposition.
The much maligned young Casanova
Yelled from a place that's quite far over,
"You've got one kid, do you want another?"
"Give that poor dear boy a brother."
"You know you wants it, yes you do"
"I'll even loan my special goo"
And next he offered explorations
Illegal in a host of nations.
The mum did think, "perhaps I'll dodge
that close encounter with your splodge,
Plus shouting filth behind a hillock
gives proof you are a total pillock.
I will not fear, upon my life
A fool too young to buy a knife,
Some youth today are running wild,
You grim and rotten sexist child."
The angry mum kept walking up,
To find a shirtless callow pup,
Say "He really fancies you, you see"
"So this should make my loins go "SQUEE"??
Thought mum, while praying to herself,
That spunky boy stays on the shelf,
Or least by order of this sweet lament,
Is grounded until retirement.
And so I end this sorry tale,
Of youthful misadventures (male),
I'd rather bite the cyanide tooth,
Than take up with a sexist youth,
You did not win, you sorry soul,
My peace you broke upon that stroll.
This mum can now take all her solace,
Because she called the Edgar Wallace.
Showing posts with label feminist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feminist. Show all posts
Friday, 2 August 2013
Sunday, 14 July 2013
Tuesday, 14 May 2013
Golly, I end up talking about boobs quite often, don't I?
One of those "Mate, you are clearly having a giraffe" moments...
I read this...
Now Angelina Jolie is a bit of a divisive figure for some people, but not for me. She is an incredible advocate for victims of sexual violence in Africa for the UN and truly does use her fame to the benefit of the disenfranchised. She also seems pretty determined to dance to the beat of her own drum.
I like that in a person.
Her openness about her decision to have a double mastectomy is brilliant. My ghast is also truly flabbered that she worked through all this without a word to anybody.
What irks me are comments like this one...
Where do I start?
An individual woman with a "highly-unlikely-to-not-be-life-threatening" gene mutation decides to have a radical procedure that will (unless she's hit by a bus mid op...) improve her life expectancy. The writers' assumption with this statement is that we're all going to start cutting our norks off willy-nilly because we're frightened of getting cancer. An 87% risk of developing breast cancer is a pretty compelling reason to have a mastectomy.
(See also "Why do women have preventative surgery?" - I'm looking at you, HuffPo).
The wimmins are not a homogenous mass, solely defined by hair colour, "hotness" and breast size. Please get this into your pathetic noggin.
There is nothing whimsical about making the decision to have a double mastectomy. The BRCA gene test was only made more widely available in the last 7 or 8 years, and this discovery offers a real life line to families whose mothers, sisters, daughters, grandmothers and aunts have died at far too young an age, or lived under the threat of a early painful death. Good treatments for diseases don't exactly fall fully formed from the sky. I once knew someone who had a full mastectomy and reconstruction aged 21, after being diagnosed with breast cancer. I think she'd rather have been on the lash, don't you?
I mean, what can be more selfish that not wanting your family (and children if you have them) to see you dying slowly and far too soon? And not living in fear that one day you're going to find a lump when you're idly showering? Having to tell your kid that, you're very sick, or that you are going to die?
Personally, I'd take the op. The ladies aren't having the boobies cut off to upset you, capiche?
*Previous breasty ruminations can found here...
I read this...
Now Angelina Jolie is a bit of a divisive figure for some people, but not for me. She is an incredible advocate for victims of sexual violence in Africa for the UN and truly does use her fame to the benefit of the disenfranchised. She also seems pretty determined to dance to the beat of her own drum.
I like that in a person.
Her openness about her decision to have a double mastectomy is brilliant. My ghast is also truly flabbered that she worked through all this without a word to anybody.
What irks me are comments like this one...
Where do I start?
An individual woman with a "highly-unlikely-to-not-be-life-threatening" gene mutation decides to have a radical procedure that will (unless she's hit by a bus mid op...) improve her life expectancy. The writers' assumption with this statement is that we're all going to start cutting our norks off willy-nilly because we're frightened of getting cancer. An 87% risk of developing breast cancer is a pretty compelling reason to have a mastectomy.
(See also "Why do women have preventative surgery?" - I'm looking at you, HuffPo).
The wimmins are not a homogenous mass, solely defined by hair colour, "hotness" and breast size. Please get this into your pathetic noggin.
There is nothing whimsical about making the decision to have a double mastectomy. The BRCA gene test was only made more widely available in the last 7 or 8 years, and this discovery offers a real life line to families whose mothers, sisters, daughters, grandmothers and aunts have died at far too young an age, or lived under the threat of a early painful death. Good treatments for diseases don't exactly fall fully formed from the sky. I once knew someone who had a full mastectomy and reconstruction aged 21, after being diagnosed with breast cancer. I think she'd rather have been on the lash, don't you?
I mean, what can be more selfish that not wanting your family (and children if you have them) to see you dying slowly and far too soon? And not living in fear that one day you're going to find a lump when you're idly showering? Having to tell your kid that, you're very sick, or that you are going to die?
Personally, I'd take the op. The ladies aren't having the boobies cut off to upset you, capiche?
*Previous breasty ruminations can found here...
Wednesday, 14 November 2012
So...Mr Rhyming Slang...and your tragically ill-informed mates
The case of Savita Halappanavar has highlighted why I will never, ever stop banging on about this. Since becoming a parent, I've become actually more pro-choice than I was before. I didn't actually believe that was possible.
So....Mr Rhyming Slang....
Yes, that's you, Mr.Hunt, oh and you, Dorries, you fame-chasing-right-wing-press-baiting-blogger-harassing-half-wit, now hopefully up to your nipples in rats, spiders, centipedes and soap stars who are approaching the brick wall of the end of their careers like a stampeding bull on whizz. Oh, and you too, Cameron, Romney, Ryan, Bachman and Palin.
I hope you're feeling suitably scared by my teeny blog with a teeny audience.
Right, hat in the ring.
The stuff that goes on the wombs and love tunnels of the world (and that corner of the world that you exercise a degree of influence over) has *nothing* to do with you.
If you're going to take a role like "Secretary of State for Health", a tiny bit of medical knowledge is generally useful. Also, as a very recent parent (I'm looking at YOU, Mr Hunt), one would hope that a tiny bit of attention *might* have been paid to little things like when certain scans occurred on ye-olde-up-the-duff time line that tell you whether or not your kid is likely to, oh, live....and stuff.
What these halfwits don't seem to realise is that, if they erode the rights as they currently exist, they run the risk of ending up killing a woman because the fading heartbeat of the baby she's losing is more important. That is what happened here, all because some people believe that Sky Dad says no. They also seem to have convincingly ignored that by doing this, it's not beyond the realms of possibility that this could bite them on the arse, personally.
I like that fact that our fine and admirable medical profession in the UK (especially obstetrics and gynaecology because they are the ones I've had more to do with recently) are focused on trying to ensure the best outcomes for everybody. Delaying life saving treatment (because that's what Savita would have really been getting because that miscarriage could not have been prevented) cost a woman her life.
Not good enough, not acceptable, please let birth and pregnancy be dealt with appropriately...and political types.....shhhhh, before you make more of a fool of yourselves.
So....Mr Rhyming Slang....
Yes, that's you, Mr.Hunt, oh and you, Dorries, you fame-chasing-right-wing-press-baiting-blogger-harassing-half-wit, now hopefully up to your nipples in rats, spiders, centipedes and soap stars who are approaching the brick wall of the end of their careers like a stampeding bull on whizz. Oh, and you too, Cameron, Romney, Ryan, Bachman and Palin.
I hope you're feeling suitably scared by my teeny blog with a teeny audience.
Right, hat in the ring.
The stuff that goes on the wombs and love tunnels of the world (and that corner of the world that you exercise a degree of influence over) has *nothing* to do with you.
If you're going to take a role like "Secretary of State for Health", a tiny bit of medical knowledge is generally useful. Also, as a very recent parent (I'm looking at YOU, Mr Hunt), one would hope that a tiny bit of attention *might* have been paid to little things like when certain scans occurred on ye-olde-up-the-duff time line that tell you whether or not your kid is likely to, oh, live....and stuff.
What these halfwits don't seem to realise is that, if they erode the rights as they currently exist, they run the risk of ending up killing a woman because the fading heartbeat of the baby she's losing is more important. That is what happened here, all because some people believe that Sky Dad says no. They also seem to have convincingly ignored that by doing this, it's not beyond the realms of possibility that this could bite them on the arse, personally.
I like that fact that our fine and admirable medical profession in the UK (especially obstetrics and gynaecology because they are the ones I've had more to do with recently) are focused on trying to ensure the best outcomes for everybody. Delaying life saving treatment (because that's what Savita would have really been getting because that miscarriage could not have been prevented) cost a woman her life.
Not good enough, not acceptable, please let birth and pregnancy be dealt with appropriately...and political types.....shhhhh, before you make more of a fool of yourselves.
Wednesday, 6 April 2011
Things that irritate me about the Daily Mail - Part 1 - Use of the word "Flaunt"
As everything about the Daily Mail irritates me, I potentially have an endless supply of inspiration...
flaunt (flônt)
flaunt (flônt)
v. flaunt·ed, flaunt·ing, flaunts
v.tr.
1. To exhibit ostentatiously or shamelessly: flaunts his knowledge. See Synonyms at show.
2. Usage Problem To show contempt for; scorn.
v.intr.
1. To parade oneself ostentatiously; show oneself off.
2. To wave grandly: pennants flaunting in the wind.
According to the narrative of the Daily Fail, an assortment of famous women are perpetually "flaunting" themselves - or their curves - or if they've been papped on a beach holiday, "flaunting their beach body". This is bloody bad English displaying a blatant disregard for the actual meaning of the word, undercut with the Victorian assertion that famous and beautiful women all have the morals of a necrophiliac dockyard rat. All because you've been seen in possession of hips, boobs and waist.
By this rationale, possessing the secondary sexual characteristics of ones gender, and wearing nice clothes at a public event is enough to make you a slapper. However, a woman with a prominent career, standing on a beach wearing a bikini with her family during a private holiday where someone surreptitiously takes a photo of her and sells it to a magazine, is realistically only guilty of one thing - having the courage to get her skin out in a public place.
Yes, there are copious amounts of ardent self publicists out there who seek out opportunities to wiggle and jiggle in an assortment of locations, but if one of the major expectations of your job is that you turn up in a posh frock and smile, it's just plain rude to somehow imply that that person is trying actually demand attention of a sexual nature by having the audacity to be a pretty woman with a public profile.
Yes, there are copious amounts of ardent self publicists out there who seek out opportunities to wiggle and jiggle in an assortment of locations, but if one of the major expectations of your job is that you turn up in a posh frock and smile, it's just plain rude to somehow imply that that person is trying actually demand attention of a sexual nature by having the audacity to be a pretty woman with a public profile.
By the nature of the beast, fame means that you are instrinsically more visible than the average person, but looking good in a attractive frock or in a bikini is certainly not the same as "flaunting" oneself.
Arguably a burlesque artist flaunts herself, but that is in primarily in the context of her act, and while she'll be beautifully groomed and dressed, I don't think Dita von Teese visits her local supermarket in tassells and a g-string operating with an overwhelming need to seduce all who cross her path. Strangely, predatory impulses accompanied by fabulously nork-enhancing top notch Vivienne Westwood and buying bog roll and cheese strings rarely go hand in hand (but I'm willing to accept that I could be mistaken).
She's not working so your right to use the word "flaunt" in the true sense has gone. As worst it's an appalling example of the sexual double standard, implying that a successful woman and her unruly curvy body are by implication trying to grap attention. At best, it's a bitchy reflection of a restricted mindset that is profoundly unhappy with itself and seeks to make everyone feel lousy about themselves, no matter who you are.
It makes my wee boil....
Arguably a burlesque artist flaunts herself, but that is in primarily in the context of her act, and while she'll be beautifully groomed and dressed, I don't think Dita von Teese visits her local supermarket in tassells and a g-string operating with an overwhelming need to seduce all who cross her path. Strangely, predatory impulses accompanied by fabulously nork-enhancing top notch Vivienne Westwood and buying bog roll and cheese strings rarely go hand in hand (but I'm willing to accept that I could be mistaken).
She's not working so your right to use the word "flaunt" in the true sense has gone. As worst it's an appalling example of the sexual double standard, implying that a successful woman and her unruly curvy body are by implication trying to grap attention. At best, it's a bitchy reflection of a restricted mindset that is profoundly unhappy with itself and seeks to make everyone feel lousy about themselves, no matter who you are.
It makes my wee boil....
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